Post-diagnosis and armed—or so you think—with meds and coping strategies, often ADHDers continue to wonder why their love relationships continue to end. We ADHDers know that. ADHD message boards are full of stories from men and women who mourn how hard the disorder can make it to find your way finally into a committed relationship for examples, see here and here. At least not post-diagnosis, anyway.

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Sometimes it really is us. Post-diagnosis, those times when we truly do have a hand in helping cut short a love relationship, the failure probably has more to do with an inner decision to surrender to that damnable expectation of failure than from our actual symptoms, as annoying as others may find them. I speak from experience.

Before I knew I had ADHD, I blamed them for the tumult and drama of my short-lived relationships…and wondered what was wrong with me for attracting such unavailable men. That explains a good deal of the drama surrounding my breakup with now-NYC-based photoblogger and friend , Devyn. After learning about my ADHD, the tumult and drama in my love relationships continued, sometimes with unabated ferocity, sometimes with a good measure of newly found self-awareness.

But so far, with the same unenduring nature as before. Dating Pastry Chef Chris , that inner voice was more of a whisper, though I still wondered when I was going to make the relationship self-destruct. Dating Doctor Dementia , who by all objective measures was a total screw-up himself, I wondered even more strongly what I was going to do to ruin the relationship.

The next day, I sat with him on my couch and told him about that voice. The talk was enlightening. Am I being played? Does he really love me? Share Share this post on Digg Del. I'm 26, he is I am mature, have my own home and run my own business.

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  • ADHD and the Art of Being Dumped | CHICAGO CARLESS.
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  • I'm looking for help from people who have experience with ADHD. As much of the issues that have arisen with us, seem to be typical issues when it comes to dating someone with ADHD. It's just a bit hard to tell.

    Originally Posted by Crystalleigh. Uh, yeah, that's what it is, my ADHD Wait, has he told you he is has ADHD? Why are we so quick to make excuses for people's crappy behavior? And we are masking it with an disorder! This situation makes no sense, besides the fact that you moved a grown man into your home after a month. He started treating you like crap after a week. Now your daughter is exposed to this.

    Available Now!

    This doesn't sound ok. Current Activity - Fist Pumping like a champ!! I know, it all sounds crazy. He isn't a bad guy, really.

    ADHD and the Art of Being Dumped

    He is actually a fantastic father and he is really good with my daughter. He isn't full moved in I guess, only has a few clothes here and his tv etc, everything else is at his place. He just stays here because I want him here And he wants to be here. My issue here is the hyper focus. He does have ADHD, bad, plus some other issues that he has been open with me about. He is also open with me about when the two girls say to him.

    He doesn't hide or lie about talking to them. One of them, he doesn't really talk to now, she just bugs him sometimes, and the other one is in his group of friends. She messages him and he will read me the messages.

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    5. Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. - author, therapist, & expert on ADHD, anxiety & gaslighting.
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    I just wish he wouldn't talk to her, which I have been told by my guy friends that I'm just insecure. He says "I'm here, everyday, not anywhere else. If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't be. Oh, and he still hugs me and kisses me, just isn't crazy affectionate and lovey like he was a first.

    My new boyfriend has sever ADHD - Community Forums

    And yes, he was open with me about his ADHD. He was diagnosed when he was in grade 2, reassessed when he was in grade 11, and was just reassessed a few months ago. He definitely isn't a walk in the park, that's for sure. He says that I'm a challenge and it's a good thing because I keep him on track and on his toes. He's not a psycho or anything. It all sounds much worse then it is. I didn't just randomly meet him either, he is a friend of a friend and also a family friend of my cousin. Everyone I know tells me to just calm down, including my mother. I over analysis everything because of my past.

    I'm just trying to figure out the ADHD thing and get advise on how to not worry about his randomness and distractions. Don't make excuses for him. It's too early to be going through so much BS with him. This is the honeymoon phase - he's supposed to be sweeping you off you feet and on his absolute best behavior! If he's being an ass this soon it's only going to get worse, it will not get better. It's only been a month. Ditch this guy before you become more invested in and attached to him.

    The loneliness feels lousy for a while, but just as you met him, you WILL meet someone else. Trust me on this one, because I've been there.

    Dr. Sarkis was recently a guest on Dan Harris’ weekly mindfulness podcast, called “10% Happier”.

    Knowing that, why tie yourself down to someone who's putting you through so much drama? There are plenty of guys out there who actually know how to treat a woman with respect, but as long as you hold on to this loser, you're missing out on them. Go back and re read. I'm not talking about the dating site now. As I said, we fraught, broke up, re assessed and things have been good since then. I am asking for advise about ADHD!!

    About hyper focus and about distractions and indecisiveness. I'm not blaming the disorder on the "looking to cheat". That was all just an attention thing, I know that now. It's been discussed and figured out. Just to appease you, let's say it's all about the ADHD.