We are very close but I don't think he or my other children see me as anything other than a mum and it would be difficult for them to accept me being with anyone let alone someone who is so young.
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I am falling in love with this guy and I know he feels the same way. I guess I'm just looking for any advice from others who have been here. Is it wrong for me to love someone who is friends with my son? Is it wrong of us to be together? If it is a choice between my son or my lover it would always be my child, but will he hate me or accept us as a happy couple? I don't want to give up my lover only to find later that my son would have been fine with it. Please be honest but somewhat gentle as I am feeling a little fragile right now. I think it is wrong. My father started dating my friend who was a couple years older than me.
It was weird to say the least! They actually made it work for about 7 years, got married and had a child together but in the end it didn't work and caused huge problems between my father and I, my friend and I, my father and everyone in the family etc. There are plenty of fish in the sea If you really think you are in love with this "man" than I would speak to your son about it before you go any further.
You really should have discussed it with him first because now it may make it worse that you have been seeing him behind his back. You also have to remember this guy is only 19 he's got a lot of learning and growing up to do before he can settle down especially with someone who is a lot older, mature then him and someone who has children. Just a thought - what happens if this boy decides he wants children sometime in the future? Can you give that to him? Honestly, I think it's wrong too. This boy is not a fully grown man. He hasn't even matured completely yet.
Honestly, I think you would be restricting his future by being with him. I know my words are harsh but if my honest opinion isn't what you would like to hear, then I don't believe this was the right place to post your question. Id stop seeing him. I assumed that would be the end of my morale-boosting holiday flirtation.
But, actually, it proved to be just the beginning. At home in Devon, my head was counselling caution — how on earth would Oli react if he knew his best friend was consuming every waking moment of my thoughts? Five days later, I was having a drink with friends in our local pub when Theo walked in. He lived nearby and occasionally drank there too — and I confess I was delighted to see him.
That night, over a drink, we spoke about our attraction to each for the first time — and both confessed that we wanted to take our flirtation further.
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Neither of us knew which way to jump. However, a few days later we were forced to make a choice. Theo turned up unexpectedly at my house one night when Oli was out, and somehow we ended up in bed together. It all seemed to happen so naturally, it was only in the morning that reality intruded. Oli had to know. We were walking together on the moors next day when I said to Oli: As the months passed, and my relationship with Theo developed, he swung from acceptance to anger. Theo and I, meanwhile, were paralysed by worry. Should we be platonic friends or lovers?
The indecision made me really ill. Actually I think it was my mum — who was then 85 — who put everything in perspective for Oli. I think Oli saw the truth of this; he began to be much calmer and more accepting after the conversation with his gran. My friends, meanwhile, thought I was in the grip of mid-life madness. My energy matches — or even surpasses — his. And I only need to see the way he looks at me to know how much he loves me. The realisation dawned on me by degrees. Oli and I had been friends for six years when I first noticed Indie.
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My early encounters with her in the Pyrenees were just innocent fun. It was only when we got back to Totnes that I began to realise there was potential for a serious relationship. And, every time he was upset, I felt terribly guilty. I think Oli feared his mum would get hurt. In more than a quarter of marriages in Britain the woman is the older partner. My friends have also been very mature. Our physical relationship is wonderful; she has the body of a year-old. And we never run out of things to say to each other.
Now she and my step-dad, and my dad and his partner, all think Indie is the best daughter-in-law they could wish for. After the initial rocky year, Oli and I are best mates again. The three of them now all enjoy spending time together. Perhaps, selfishly, I was jealous. I worried that, as Mum and Theo grew closer, I was becoming marginalised, excluded by their love for each other.
As a result, for a time, relations between all of us broke down. Six months into the relationship, I was was still so angry I was barely speaking to mum — and I used to speak to her almost every day. Give it time and wait and see how it goes.
Maybe this is her time to be happy and she will find love again. Why are you worrying so much about your mother? She is older and more mature and knows exactly what she wants.
Let her be and care more about yourself. Maybe you need to stop judging her and find a partner as well. Your mother is with a person she loves and does not care what people think about her. What is the point of pleasing people when you are not happy?
Arizona woman, 27, marries best friend's dad, 54, and now they all vacation together
Your mother is too old to handle heartbreaks so protect her. That man will definitely leave her soon for some younger lady after he has got all he needs from her. Men will always be men. I give it five months before he realises she is too old and boring after he has met a fun girl at a party.
Mind more about her happiness instead of who is making her happy. It is what matters the most.
I married my best friend's dad and now I'm her stepmom
Your mother is too old for him. This young man should be dating you and I am almost sure she loves him way more than he loves her. It is only a matter of time before reality checks in and he realises he is spending too much time with someone old enough to be his mother. She is giving him what he needs and he is giving her what she needs. Maybe you should focus more on happiness than what people think.
Ask the counselor: My friend is dating my mum
Unless you wanted the man for yourself I do not see what the problem is. Are you saying that your mum has no rights to love? What people will say is also a very lame excuse. I know we live in a demented society but reinforcing the ideologies of what age should be with who is unacceptable.